Oh what a night!

Oh, what a night, late September back in '63 (plus a few years)
What a very special time for me
As I remember what a night!

Ah yes, these lyrics sum up my weekend. How much we remember might be questionable at best, but there is no doubt that this weekend was ama-za-zing! To sum it up, Friday night E and I rocked out to Sugarland and they were simply incredible. I haven't been that amped during a show in ages!!! And for our first time sitting together, E and I had a blast and I hope to do it again soon! The Safe House bar followed by late night trip to IHOCS (International House of Chicken Strips), little sleep, and lots of laughs!

Saturday brought an adventure to Miller Park and a few firsts....first tailgates, first ballgames, first time having peanuts dumped on someone's head. Our gracious tailgate hostesses with the mostest (Evan, Jenny, and Michelle) did an incredible job! We braved our way through the cemetary, complete with guilt trips for E, and partied with the masses before one of the few Brewer home games left. The afternoon was hysterical and the fun spilled into the game as well. We saw hot guys, fist fights, a random guy tackled on the field, a new record for Prince, a food fight involving peanuts and nachos, fireworks, and more! Most of the time I had to remind myself that there was actually a game on since I was playing TMZ again with Michelle and Lisa's cameras. Yep, nearly 300 photos later, I'm pretty sure it's safe to say that EVERY single moment was documented. After the game we closed out the parking lot and headed back to my place. My stomach hurts from laughing so much, but I wouldn't have it any other way! Thank you, friends, for one of the best weekends yet! Can't wait for the Midwest Mafia reunion next month! Love you all!!!

Surreal.

Sometimes I step on that scale and think "no way." When I heard my 12 week total today, it seemed so surreal. Yes I know that I'm losing weight. I'm fully aware that I've changed my eating and exercising habits. Sure my clothes are fitting better and I'm buying smaller sizes. But 26 pounds? Seriously!?!

Wow. I'm still not convinced that it's all sunk in yet. And yet week after week I keep losing and that total keeps growing. To think that I'm a third of the way to a weight I'd be happy with, a quarter of the way to what I'd really eventually like to lose, it all just blows my mind. I'm doing it for real this time.

No more excuses. No more empty promises of tomorrow. Here and now. One meal at a time. Today. Forever. It's always going to be a battle, but I can walk away victorious this time. I know I can do it. I have to. I want to. I am.

In celebrating such a righteous victory, I was inspired to take part in the Lose for Good campaign that Weight Watchers is sponsoring. They will donate up to a million dollars to food shelters, pantries, etc. for every pound that WW members lose between now and October 17th. They also encourage people to donate to local food pantries or programs, so I have decided this:

For every pound I have lost by October 17th, I will donate a pound of food to the Hunger Task Force here in Milwaukee. As it stands, they will receive at least 26 pounds of food, and that number is only bound to increase!

My goal: donate 40 pounds of food at the end of this challenge!

You can take part in this challenge too, and it would be a great honor if you would do so with me! Either set a goal for yourself or make the promise to donate some food to your local shelter on my behalf. It doesn't have to be 40 pounds, but whatever you can spare. I'd be honored if you would help me give back. For all the support that I've received, it's time to give some of that back to people who need it. Ponder this: over 900 MILLION people go hungry every year, yet over 1.5 BILLION people are obese. Let's work to correct that imbalance...together!!!

We Came. We Saw. We Conquered. And scared a whole hell of a lot of people in the process.

Thank you DeMo.

Beware! Coming to a Des Moines near you...

Be afraid, be very afraid...

Life these days...

...has been crazy busy!
...has been crazy fun!
...involves an almost 20 pound weight loss in 9 weeks!
...is n0t slowing down anytime soon, except for last night!
...brings new foods and new friends into my life!
...brings a little KC action, yeah baby!
...has been sad and happy, all at once!
...has stirred up old feelings I thought were gone...yet again!
...has envoked wonderful new feelings and hope for the future, our future!
...involves planning for Oktoberfest! Fest with the Best baby!
...hopefully brings a drama free, highlight of the summer, kick butt weekend!
...is good!

How about yours?

This woman...

...is ama-za-zing.

...inspires me.

...has really become a great friend over the past few years.

...is my partner in crime.

...has morals and won't compromise them.

...looks DAMN good already...lookout skinny bitches everywhere!

...shows me what I want in life.

...exemplifies terrific as both a wife and mother.

...loves to laugh with and at me!

...doesn't judge.

...puts up with my off key singing!

...makes living here a little more bearable.

...will put on a red wig and isn't afraid to get goofy with me!

...radiates with love, compassion, and honesty.

...is a confidant.

...is a blessing.

...is one of my best friends.

...is going to kill me for using this picture! ;)

So that's where my willpower was hiding...

All these years, I've convinced myself that I had no willpower. I was drawn to food and thoroughly enjoyed every last morsel. And that's why I was overweight. It had nothing to do with the fact that I rarely exercised, little to do with the fact that I ate lots of crap, little to do with the fact that I had no self-control and was utterly indulgent. Nope, I simply liked food. As I struggled to squeeze myself into jeans that were tighter and tighter every year, I rationalized that the other genes were to blame. Big boned. Thick.

I'm here to tell you that the new me thinks that's crap.

After 7 weeks on WW, I have come to this realization: I've found the willpower I'd convinced myself I didn't have. It's been there all along too, I was just too blinded to see the truth. For years and years, I accepted the fact that I was big, and slowly but surely I just got bigger. I never believed that I could ever change that fact, nor did I have the desire or energy to do so. I was seemingly ok with this fact. But not too long ago, something changed. I was inspired. I found a challenge and latched on. I can't put my finger on exactly what initiated this desire to change, but it came from a very real and honest place. I knew I had to do this for me, not for anyone else. Because truth is I'm worth it. So little by little, I began to revamp my life. My life doesn't center around food anymore. I'm not eating something unhealthy simply because it's convenient. My diet is balanced and I discovered that I do, in fact, have willpower! Who knew? Best of all, I'm doing it the right way. I may be losing a little quicker than they recommend, but after 7 weeks I've kept it off and continued to lose. Now I know this is going to be a lifelong battle, but I think I can handle it. Scratch that, I know I can handle it. And I'm excited. Finally.

With this excitement and challenge comes fear. Fear lurks in the shadows of my bathroom scale. It hides under trays in the cafeteria at work. It sits shotgun during a trip in the car as I pass by hundreds of tempting options. I fear that I won't be able to keep it off. I hope for this to be a long term solution, not just a temporary jubilation. I fear that the other shoe is going to drop. I fear that I've done damage to my body that I'll never be able to fix. But I've also learned that I can't focus on those fears or I'll never succeed. As a friend told me tonight, don't focus on the past or you'll never get anywhere in the future. I regret that I didn't do this sooner, but thank God I've done it at all. Because as long as I take a new breath each day, I have a fresh start, a chance to make it happen. So each day I face this challenge head on and I am conquering, one victory at a time. Five pounds, gone. Ten pounds, see ya later. 5% of my weight, vanished. 15 pounds, where'd you go? I am proud to say that after 7 weeks, I've lost 16.4 pounds and it feels good! Better yet, it feels great! I have a long way to go, but knowing that I am almost halfway to my first goal of 35 pounds and have done so ahead of schedule, I can't help but feel proud of what I've accomplished. And although I've been slow to truly recognize and acknowledge my accomplishment, I am proud of myself. And what could be better than that?

Eh

Eh, I'm feeling kind of blah right now. I don't really have much to say, but figured I'd blog quick before bed. Boy is it calling my name! Quick recap of my life lately: uber busy, late nights, early mornings, too much driving, healthy eating, exercise, little sleep, and a 13 pound weight loss in 6 weeks. Wednesday's weigh in could prove to be the next big achievement. Admit it was really nice to get some compliments this weekend about how noticeable the weight loss is already. I truthfully wasn't expecting it for many more weeks, so that's just added motivation to keep going. I have the heatly eating down for the most part, but I still have to step up the exercise. I am just not one of those people who finds any joy or exhiliration or endorphines in exercising. I dread it and do not feel like a million bucks afterwards, but I'm hoping that will come in time. Until then, it's back to Core Camp tomorrow and a sore body this week. Spent Saturday at Urgent Care with Grammy. She's fine. Sure she's going to outlive us all. Disappointed that my neighbors were fairly rude and standoffish. Home is calling my name again these next two weekends...SharonFest 2009 must be planned after all. Emotional rollercoaster with a couple people in my life. Trying to figure out where to go from here, if anywhere. I can't help but love him. Feeling the strong desire to start a family. Looking foward to a summer/fall of roadtrips. Chopped my hair. Off to bed. Loving you all for who you are, just the way you are. You are my rocks. Thank you from the bottom of my heart. Honest to blog.

Facebook rules the world

I've come to the conclusion that Facebook owns all. How else would I know that so-and-so just got married? Or that some one's son just took his first poop in the toilet. And I had no idea my world was incomplete without flair. This weekend took Facebook to a whole new extreme when I actually found out about a friend's death via Facebook. He died on Saturday and by Sunday night a memorial page had already been set up for him. Worst part was that Monday morning I had to call a friend - who, mind you, was much closer to our friend than I was - to give her the tragic news. That's right, through a random coincidence, I stumbled across the news of a friend's passing before many who were closer to him even knew. I'm not really sure how I feel about this new revolution. On one hand, it's exhilarating to see the new depths technology can take us. On the hand, we've become so overrun with technology that we've lost touch with reality. We are a Tweeting, status-updating, privacy-lacking, invasion-ridden people who would feel lost and disconnected without our mobile devices. When did we lose touch with reality? When did we forget how to pick up the phone to share good or bad news? Don't get me wrong, I'm extremely guilty of partaking in said social pitfalls, but I found myself pondering the significance of it all after this weekend. Where in the grief process falls social networking? Is it after denial and just before acceptance? At what point do you run to your mobile device to share your grief with the world, with people you've potentially never met? I never expected to realize what a major impact social networking now holds in our lives. It makes me yearn for the days of yesteryear, when a handwritten letter was sentimental. Now it's become obsolete. Why take the time to hand write when you can casually dictate your thoughts to a tiny device that sits behind your ear while cruising through the Starbucks drive thru on your way to a tweetup? Let's face it...Facebook rules the world.

In other news, my Wonderful Wednesday tribute this week goes out to my friends. There are far too many to list here, but some of the most significant people I know are my friends. K has always been my sounding board, the person I can talk to about absolutely anything. JP is one of my oldest friends and she and I have been through each other's ups and downs and come out stronger friends because of it all. She's a true friend, through and through. B was the first friend I made when I moved in high school and she is the major reason I had such a successful transition. L is my partner in crime and always supports me in my endeavors. J keeps things real and cracks me up...it's always a blast hanging with her! E tells it as it is and makes me look at things in a different light. Life is more adventurous with her around! N and K are road warriors and come up with the best inside jokes. They are my soul sistas...LYB! These are just a few of the wonderful people I've been blessed to encounter in my life. There are so many other people who bring a different fulfillment to various aspects of my life but I have only so much time and space to list them. Just know that you are all appreciated and loved!

And how did my weight loss go this week? Well, since you asked ;) I lost another 2.4 pounds this week...cha-ching! 11.4 pounds total in 5 weeks equals my second star. For the first time in my life, I am excited and energized and am holding myself accountable. Plus my pants don't fit anymore, so today was the first day that I felt a noticeable difference. I'm in it to win it, lol! Here are a few shots from last weekend...had a great time with the kids, but definitely needed the week to recover, haha! Love these guys!!! Well kids, enjoy the rest of your week and make the most of every day! Peace out girl scouts!!!

Ever wonder what a pony feels like shortly after being born?

You know that feeling where your legs just shake and you can barely wobble from one spot to the next? That was me on Tuesday after my first Core Camp session...like a pony shortly after birth. The class kicked my butt and on top of that, I decided to bike 3.5 miles. It was awesome. Until my calves cramped, my thighs were screaming at me, and my abs felt as if they'd burst. But, despite the pain, I am pleasantly surprised to say that I lost another 2.4 pounds, bringing my 4 week total to 9 pounds! Being a holiday weekend and all, this was a major accomplishment and I am surprisingly amped to get in shape! I'm a recognition, results person. I need to see the numbers, see the proof to really get into it. And having people who will hold me accountable is a huge plus. Besides, I'm competitive and want to be the first one in my group to hit my milestones! I was the first of the newbies to hit 5 pounds and I plan to be the first to pass 10 pounds next week! It's great to see people who have been doing the program for awhile succeed. One woman who started the last session has lost 40 pounds and another just hit 25. I'm hoping to join their ranks. Scratch that, I'm planning to join them. And I'm hoping to get to the point where my weight loss is noticeable, but I know I have a ways to go before that happens. 9 pounds is a big deal (as one of my co-workers proudly reminded me today), but I have a lot more weight to lose, so right now it is what it is. But for once in my life, I know that I can do this. It's time to shed the fat girl image and introduce a new me. I, for one, can't wait to meet her!

So since all I seem to talk about lately is weight loss, I will try to add some spice and variety into my postings from now on. So I'd like to introduce my first Wonderful Wednesday post. I've decided that every Wednesday after weigh in, I will write about someone or something wonderful in my life. I have an abundance of wonderful things and people, so there should be plenty of !


The first Wonderful Wednesday award goes to my mom. She is my best friend, my inspiration, my rock. She's learned how to encourage and support me in my endeavors and loves me despite my shortcomings. She's fun, incredibly intelligent, loving, and talented. If I can be half the person and mother she is, then I will feel like a success. She's sacrificed a lot for our family and I hope that she knows how much we appreciate her!

This summer is going to fly! I have potentially 1 free weekend between now and the end of August and I'm exhausted just thinking about it! Should be a fun summer though...I hope to post lots of pictures of my adventures! Here was one of my last favorite memories...the week Ky came out for the Twins Brewers series! Until the next time, peace out girl scouts!!!

Progress!

So this week I finally saw some progress again after a sluggish weigh in last week. Down another 1.6 pounds, bringing me closer to my first goal. I'm guessing that I'll hit that goal in the next 3 weeks, so we'll see what happens!

In the spirit of good numbers on the scale, I signed up for a Core Camp at work. Tuesdays at 5:25 PM I will be found in the gym at work. For $15, I figure it's a good thing to try for the next 12 weeks. I'm planning to be plenty sore but here goes nothing!

I'm soooo looking forward to going home on Thursday...on that note I need to pack, so I'm going to keep this brief. Hope you have a happy and safe Fourth of July!

Week 2 Results (a little late)

Well, Week 2 has come and gone and Week 3 is halfway in the bag! My results were disappointing as I only lost 1/2 pound, but I earned my first star for losing my first 5 pounds, so that was an achievement. I talked to my leader and realized that I was so obsessed with eating healthier that I was not hitting my Points each day, which ultimately worked against me. The Points system is designed to help my metabolism build, but by not eating or not getting the proper nutrients, I was doing more harm than good. Plus she said my body is just getting adjusted from the big loss the first week. So, this week I've gotten my eating habits more aligned with my Points and I've been walking a lot, so hopefully I'll see some more results!

In other news, my busy summer is just ramping up. I had my little guy Ethan this weekend, which was fun! He is just too cute and so smily!

Last week my good friend Boo Boo came up for the week and we hit not one, not two, but three Brewer games...HOT games at that (and I'm not talking about the action on the field)! Yes, that officially doubles the number of games I've EVER attended before that, haha! At least the Crew stole one game in the series. Can't say I'll be rushing back for another game anytime soon! Good news is that we mastered the route to the game....no way around the cemetary yet...

Had a nice time down at J's for her housewarming today, just wished we could have stayed longer, but we're planning another weekend there soon so we can hit up Ikea and Portillos! Lisa is always a good partner in crime and she has become a truly great friend.

Big event Tuesday night, but I can't reveal many of the details yet. Just know that it involves a major movie premiere and some celebrities. I am the paparazzi, so hopefully I'll have some pictures to share!

In case I don't post before I leave for home for the 4th of July, enjoy the holiday...and be careful with those fireworks! PS - if you're looking for a handy way to prevent burning yourself on those ever-popular sparklers, stick them in a can of Play Doh before lighting. Thanks Real Simple magazine!

Merge like a zipper people!

Hi, my name is JR and I am a road rageaholic. I have not yelled at someone since...well, since my drive over to this meeting. I cannot seem to go anywhere without encountering the most idiotic drivers. And it truly angers me. It seems that my car triggers my emotional rage, something I have never come to experience outside the confinement of my car. I am not sure what kind of power this space has over me, but it seems inevitable that I strap on a whole different attitude when the seat belt clicks. Turn that heater up to hot, just like my road rage. I am not afraid to yell at you for going too slow. I will get on your ass if you cut me off or try to stick your big ol boat where it does not belong. I have no problem raising my hands in disgust or hitting the wheel in frustration...but chances are you won't see the middle finger from me (unless I know you're out of sight, truly deserved it, and there's no one else around who might accidentally take offense and shoot me). You will, however, get the staredown as I blow by you, but only if I deem that you're being an idiot. And chances are if you're doing any of the above mentioned things, then you were driving like an idiot and deserve it.

I've simply had it with people on the road. I am so sick of the incessant stop and go that is the result of NOTHING at all! I couldn't imagine being in a bigger city than this and grappling with the daily traffic horrors. Just this week a man narrowly escaped the grip of death when a semi lost control and smashed the bed of his truck after some IDIOT slowed for seemingly no reason. Seriously, they caught it on tape. While most of the people around me were praising the Lord for the miracle that no one was injured (now I'm not heartless, I was undoubtedly relieved for everyone's safety), I was angrily cussing out the vehicle that appeared to be at the root of this accident...the dummy who stopped in the middle lane for no reason. Or if there was a reason for him to stop, he didn't bother going again in any sensible amount of time. Now I'm not saying the truck driver was not to blame...he is definitely at fault and should be punished...however I believe that this (and most of the interstate accidents) can be avoided if people would quit being idiots when driving...and merge like a zipper.

Yep, you heard me. My parents were in New Zealand a few years back and said there were signs on the road that instructed people to merge one at a time. One car already on the road, one entering, one on the road, and so on and so forth. Such an easy concept. They said traffic was not an issue there and attributed it to the intelligence of the drivers...and the zipper sign. Of course I've seen it a million times where the only lane that is backed up is the lane where drivers merge from the ramp. And it never fails that I'm in that lane because I need to exit soon, so it's not like I can even go around this mess. I swear only the dumbest drivers are out when I am heading to and from work. Today one genius decided to cut all the way across 4 lanes of traffic to make her exit. Not smart considering the space between my car and the next was not large enough until I hit the brakes. I just don't understand people when they drive! Do they suddenly lose all common sense? I mean I understand defensive driving and am constantly on my toes, but why do people stop for no reason or brake when they are 8 miles away from the next car? And what is with the 10-mile-per-hour-below-the-speed-limit nonsense that way too many people seem to adopt? And for those of you who like to drive slow in the left lane...MOVE! Didn't you learn in driver's ed that the left lane is for passing at higher speeds?!?! Oh, and for the jerk who decides to drive all the way up the merge lane when I so graciously provided you with an opening...I hope your tires suddenly go flat.

Seriously, where do these people come from!? Do they morph into brainless saps just as I morph into a rageaholic? I swear I am not this person anywhere else but in my car, and primarily when I am alone. And I actually am a good driver with no accidents or tickets to my name. I just happen to be set off by people on the road. In my ideal world, cars would be controlled by some great system where you could just punch in your destination and kick back and let the rest be automated. No more bad decisions. No more idiots. Just like the smooth flow of traffic signals, so too would traffic flow. For now I guess I'll just have to transfer my desire for control and automation to my Sims game. Sigh. So I guess I'll just have to deal with life on the road, one idiot at a time.

Success!

First week down, 4.6 pounds melted away! Yeah baby! I was more than excited to step on the scale for once. I knew I had done a decent job watching what I was eating last week and thought maybe 3 pounds, but never expected almost 5. I was the "biggest loser" in my group today and after my leader asked me to share my results this week, I got a big round of applause. Pretty sure I heard a few "wows." And it felt really good, not gonna lie.

I think this group meeting thing is good for me because I am competitive and though I'm not in competition with everyone directly, they still inspire me to do my best. It's like I am back in first grade again...when we contributed to the group conversation, we got a sticker for our bookmarks. Seemingly dumb, I know, but never underestimate the power of a little sticker! Next week I'm going for my first 5 pound sticker and then some! My first goal is losing 35 pounds in this 17 week session. 2 pounds a week seems attainable, although I know that I'll plateau at some point, which means that I'll just have to work harder when that time comes. It feels good to have a goal again, something to work towards and motivate me.

The first week I focused on the plan and Points. I got used to the idea that I can't gorge myself on whatever craving I'm having at the time. I focused on making better choices, eating better portions, and getting used to the changes. Now it's time to get moving. I went for a nice walk after work and hopefully can keep that up over the next few weeks. Eventually it'll be time to hit the gym, but that'll come with time.

Success feels good. I know it's not much yet, but it's hopefully the start of something great. And I can do this. I need to do this. I have to do this. Honest to blog.

Today I...

...got a massive paper cut and it bled like crazy. Ouch, that really hurt Charlie!
...went to the grocery store and spent $86 on healthy foods, yikes!
...had my debit card denied on said food order for whatever reason. Embarassed? Party of one! I think I forgot my pin number because I verified that there's plenty of money in there, so I don't know what's going on. Roll with that story for the sake of my pride people...
...got an email from the guy I am seeing. Yay. And from the guy who saw me this weekend. Eh.
...meant to make some phone calls but chose the Bachelorette and Here Come the Newlyweds. Sorry friends.
...started the countdown to the weekend...come on good weather!
...laughed at a one liner in the new TV series Netflix recommended and sent to me. They are so thoughtful! Too bad I can't date Netflix :(
...scratch that, I laughed at a couple of one liners in this show. Good stuff so far!
...realized how hectic my summer is going to be. Bring it on!
...had every intention of walking but got caught up in the grocery store debacle. At least I stayed under my Points!
...am planning to make a double effort on the exercise front tomorrow. Seriously!
...saw a major accident today. Not sure how everyone survived but am thankful they did!
...am hoping the rest of the week flies by...make it a good one!!! :)

What did you do today?

A whole new me...

It's time. Time for me to get myself in order...financially, physically, all around. So, I've made some changes which I hope will be successful. For a start, I joined Weight Watchers. We have a meeting right at work during the lunch hour, so there's no excuses for me anymore. It's a much needed lifestyle change that will hopefully teach me lessons I can apply to the rest of my life. In that spirit, here was one of my recent breakfast meals. I'm not normally a yogurt fan, but fat free vanilla yogurt has the sweetness that I crave and my texture issue was disguised by the low fat granola and fruit. It was very delicious and I think I might have to make it again sometime!

It's the little things that are tough. The bad habits I've gotten myself into over the past who-knows-how-many-years. Having the support helps and I am quite partial to the online tools. So here's hoping I can make the changes that are more than needed in my life! What one thing would you like to change in your life? Care to join me on our personal challenges? It's always easier when you have someone else walking right beside you! Here's to a new me and you!!!

Confessions from a fat girl...

So I feel a little, well, guilty for posting this after the last one because my last post was so meaningful and this one is just me venting, but I guess you get the good with the bad in life, so here goes. This fat girl joined Weight Watchers. Yay me. No need for cheers or congratulations, it's way overdue and I ask that you hold your praise until I actually lose some weight. We'll see how things go over the next 17 weeks, but I have eventual (potentially lofty) goals that will hopefully be accomplished after my more realistic ambitions are met. I'm sure I'll blog about my journey along the way, but today, I have one weight related topic on my mind that has bothered me for awhile now...

You know, I think I'm a pretty nice person. I think other people think that too. I try to do the right thing, have a good job, and am very loving and generous. I think I have a few decent things going for me. Yet recently something I've noticed over the past few years has begun to bother me...I'm never the object of a matchmaking. Now I know this sounds silly, but I really noticed it this weekend. Our good friends (in their 30s) took their kids, myself (27), a mutual friend (19), and my brother (25) out to ski (or watch in my case). Somehow the adults started talking about a guy friend of the couple's and how nice he is, what a good job he has, and how he's got a decent amount of money to boot. Instantly they talk about matching him up with the 19 year old, who lives out of the state and is in college. They then say that they'd never do that to her because of the age difference (Mr. Wonderful is 32) and say that they'll just have to keep looking for Mr. W. Ummm, hello? If Mr. Wonderful is just that, what about me over here? I'm much closer to his age and if age seemed to be the big deal breaker, then I might be a better match. For the first time, it hit me that this fat girl is always the last one chosen for dodge ball teams. Or matchmaking in this case.

In the past during holiday gatherings with my parents' friends, I'd hear someone talking about a nice nephew they have or a friend's son they know and how they'd love to set someone up with him. A few girls' names would be thrown out and then everyone would chat about how or why they would or would not be a good match. One year I started paying attention to who was being "offered up" to these seemingly good catches. Do you know what I discovered? Out of the families who took part in the gatherings, every other grown child was brought up as a "match". Guess who was never mentioned, not once? That's right, this fat girl over here. Not only was I never chosen, but the other girls were mentioned time and time again, even the ones who were not single. Sigh.

Now here's the thing...I'm not 100% sure that this has anything to do with my weight, but to me that seems to be the main difference. My parents' friends have thin, attractive daughters who are kind, funny, and intelligent, as is our friend from the boat this weekend. I'd like to think that I am up to par with them in the last 3 qualities (along with many others). So it seems to me that people just never think of the fat girl. And that's OK, I'm not on a mission to change the world. Nor am I writing this post to get pity or have an influx of matchmaking offers, rather my intention is this: don't judge a book by it's cover. You may preach that to your children or believe it to be true, but live it. Just once throw out the fat girl's name when she's around. Sometimes we all need a little injection of self esteem and there's nothing more flattering than for someone to say "You know what? I think you'd be a great match for so-and-so!" I truly could care less if you mean it or not because goodness knows none of these matches ever really come to fruition. However, the simple fact that it even crossed your mind is a personal victory and enough for me to relish for sometime. A part of me knows that this post is manifested from my own insecurities about my weight, but I am anxious to test this theory out when I actually lose some weight. I'm hoping that someday I'll be able to report that my theory was wrong and that it was all in my head, but until then, do me a favor and remember the fat girl every now and then. You'll never know what it means to her :)

A tribute to an incredible woman...

This is gonna be a tough week. I got the call tonight that I've been dreading for weeks...years really. This is finally it for Sharon and I'm still not sure how to say goodbye to someone who has been such an instrumental part of my life. As the tears stream down my face, I am flooded with all the amazing memories we've had over the past 15 years. She's watched us grow up and become adults, and each decision I've made was in part because of the little voice in the back of my head and heart saying "What would Sharon do? Would this make her proud?"

Sharon always believed in me. She always knew that I was a good person and helped instill kindness and generosity in me by example. Always ready with a smile and a hug, Sharon was a second mother and grandmother to so many of us, not just me. Though I'd love to think of her as just my special friend, she lived for her family and that will forever be her legacy. You could see the sense of pride in her when she spoke of her children, whether they were doing something great or had veered off course a little. Her husband Jerry is her true soul mate and they set the bar high for me to live up to. No matter how much grief she gave Jerry about something or how much he heckled her, you could see that they loved each other to no end. I want a love like that, with depth beyond comprehension, yet transparent enough for the world to see it after just one meeting. Theirs is a love bigger than the movies, greater than the most wrenching fairytale. Their love is real. I think no matter how much she loved her family, her grandkids are her pride and joy. Almost 10 years ago when the doctors had given up hope and told her there was nothing they could do, Sharon set her mind on making it to Jessa's high school graduation. Two years ago, her dream came true. She fought so hard, for so many years...for them. As the kids would come barreling out of the cars and down the dock, you could see her love for them as she instantly grinned from ear to ear. Even when she was yipping at them to get away from her fishing pole or to shut the door, it was always finished with a touch of love. Her love for them is the most precious gift she could ever give them and there isn't a second of their lives where they could ever doubt that they were truly loved.

And let's not forget the boathouse, possibly Sharon's favorite place to be. Not only did she get to indulge in some of her favorite activities, but she'd get to do it with her favorite people. Where else can you sit with a fishing pole in one hand and a beer in the other while kids scurry about and you laugh with your friends, new and old? Man could she fish too. There was hardly a fish too small for Sharon...the smallest ones tasted the best she said! She'd fish for hours at a time while everyone talked, drank, ate, and bonded. And that eternal tan of hers! One stint in the sun and you'd think she had been tanning all winter. I was always envious of her "boathouse glow!" Sharon even stuck up for me when my family banned me from family games. And yes, for the record, I was (and still can be!) a sore loser...but never with Sharon. She taught me how to play 10,000 and euchre and I was always a gracious loser. I think the truth was that I was so glad to be spending the time with Sharon that there's no way I'd let something like my lack of sportsmanship ruin it for me. The bonfires are where we really saw Sharon's warmth and love. Her infectious laugh lit up those bonfires. We'd laugh for hours, well into the night and much past Sharon's bedtime. And everyone was always welcome at the bonfire, Sharon made sure of it. This is where we became family. I wouldn't trade those moments for anything and the boathouse won't be the same without her.

If there are two times when I will miss her most, it'll be on my wedding day and the day my first child is born. I always imagined that Sharon and Jerry would be sitting with my family at my wedding and it saddens me to think she won't be there. And when my first baby is born, I'll know that he or she has the best possible guardian angel looking after them. From the time she was young, Sharon was always taking care of everyone else's kids. That never stopped once she had her own and I guarantee you that there are hundreds of people who can tell you about what a great friend, influence, caregiver, babysitter, sister, aunt, cousin, grandma, or mother she was to them. I think a lot of us can say that we wouldn't be who we are today had our lives not been touched by Sharon.

I haven't lost many people in my life, but this one will be especially hard as I was closer to Sharon than to my own grandparents. But as I reflect on a tremendous life, I recall more and more terrific memories than I can ever begin to write down and I am comforted by knowing that she will not be in pain anymore, she will not be suffering. Just knowing her and having her in my life is a gift that I will always cherish. So when I have kids and grandkids, there will always be a cookie jar full of Sharon's famous chocolate chip cookies, each one made with nothing but love. After all, Sharon's love was the sweetest gift any of us ever received.

**Sharon lost her 10 year courageous battle with cancer on June 1st, 2009. She will be dearly missed by all who had the privilege of knowing her.**

Wordless Wednesday

Top 11 Reasons My Weekend Was Baller (Is that like the bomb?!?)

11.) Sushi lessons at the boathouse!

10.) Bonfires with friends and family that wreak havoc on the ab muscles from unending laughter.

9.) Gorgeous sunny days spent in the place that means the most with the people who mean the most.

8.) Peacocks originated in India. Who knew?

7.) All I'll ever need to know can be found in books on tape.

6.) Smooth Away back hair...not mine for the record!

5.) Painted nails for everyone!

4.) 4 Fs...Friends, Family, Fun, Fires (as in the bonfire kind, not the 4 alarm kind)

3.) Beware of Trevor's Words of Wisdom. We're not so sure that they're, ummm, wise.

2.) I caught my first big non-crap fish...a 3 1/2 pound largemouth bass! Props to Jana, the best netter ever! Don't worry that I freaked out while catching it. Definitely not me!

1.) WWJD...What Would Jan Do?

Today I...

...enjoyed the beautiful weather while eating outside...twice!
...smiled at the sound of air conditioners running as I walked to my apartment.
...had lunch with some great friends and co-workers whom I miss dearly.
...made plans to go out tomorrow with said friends to celebrate. What you might ask? Life!
...cheered when Kris won Idol and was relieved no one else was around to laugh at me.
...wished a truly wonderful friend happy birthday and realized how old I'll be when she's, ahem, legal.
...opened all the windows and turned on my fan.
...received the first part of my promotional raise with more to come next week, yay!
...realized how fortunate I am to be working where I am.
...spent time with co-workers I didn't know all too well and learned a lot.
...didn't have one of my clients die. That's a good day for the record!
...did not spend a dime. Yay for budgets.
...planned my super fun weekend and realized just how much I'm looking forward to being surrounded by wonderful, true friends.

What did you do today?

Summary Sunday

Let's just say I have had a lot going on lately, but that's lead to a crafty streak. My life in pictures, honest to blog!

It's been a crazy busy week and the more I think about it, then more I realize that my summer is going to be just as hectic! For now, I have an extended weekend to look forward to...and a visit from two of my favorite people! Can't wait!!! More posts and pics later this week hopefully! Peace out girl scouts!!!

Life in the Midwest: Offer a girl a hot dog, cold drink, and some baseball and she drops everything...

Since it's been quite some time since I last blogged, I thought I'd do a quick recap post (while at work, hehe), so here goes!

- My good friend Erin threw out the title to this post in a tweet and I thought it was quite fitting for the adventures I've had the past two weeks! With two Brewers games in a week and my absolute favorite day of the entire year coming up, that says it all, haha!
- Work is kind of slow and boring, but we have lots of periodic chats about everything from Idol to DWTS to Biggest Loser to SYTYCD to The Bachelorette. Fun group, love our chats, very very relaxed atmosphere. No more work induced tears for this girl! LOVE it!
- My mom is the coolest. She has become one of my best friends, something I never thought I'd say and was somewhat hesitant to admit when she said it first this past February. The more I thought about it though, the more I realized it was true moreso now than ever. She was here for a couple days last week and we had a great time together, making dinner, watching Idol, planning for the summer. Not only is she great to me, but she's wonderful to my friends as well. She spoils me rotten and supports our family to no end. I just hope she realizes how amazing we all think she is!
- Lots of baby/kid stuff this week. Suprise baby shower at work tomorrow means a diaper cake creation, baby face cupcakes, and chocolate chip cookies (using my new KitchenAid mixer, ooooohhhh yeah!). Saturday I'm throwing an 8 year old's birthday party, complete with a spa/salon, restaurant, and red carpet premiere. Then it's up and at em early on Sunday to attend Ethan's baptism...more food to prepare for that event as well! On top of that, I need to finish the scrapbook so I'll have that as a gift. And all the great shows are wrapping up, so it's finales galore!
- Speaking of finales, most of you know what a HUGE Idol fan I am and have been since day 1. This past Friday I had the opportunity to experience Danny Gokey Day in its full glory! I met Lisa at the Summerfest grounds and we waited like sardines in a tin can for the man to appear! Granted all we could see were hands and signs, but I was able to hold my camera up to capture a few shots proving he was actually there. Now the experience of packing in with 18,000 of my closest friends wasn't memorable, but now I can officially say I was there, I went to an Idol rally...and it was quite an experience! Go Go Gokey!
- There really is no place like home. Not everyone can say that. My bro - the "free spirit" - moved home last month and this was my first opportunity to see him. Wow what a difference a couple years makes. He left home a boy and truly returned as a man. And he doesn't look like a caveman anymore, YAY! He's doing well and working hard to get his ice business up and running and even got his first order this weekend! I'm pretty proud of him, I must admit. Check out his website: http://www.metroicesculptures.com/
- I got a new coffee table and happily gave my old one away to a good friend...yay for changes! These tables are sooooo cool! The top lifts up to a regular table height, so it's perfect for entertaining or scrapbooking, two of my favorite things!
- Boathouse season is upon us! Memorial Day weekend should be the big kick off and J and S and I will christen the season in style! Everyone is welcome to an "open (boat)house" bonfire the night of Sunday, May 24th. BYOB. Could mean bring your own booze or blankets, depending on the weather! Call or email me if you need details!
- I am hopefully going to commit to blogging more regularly, but there are quite a few other things I need to do regularly, lol, so we'll see how it all goes! Thanks for tuning in though!

Honest to blog, that's all I know! What's new in your world?!?

P.S. Pictures to come! Yet another thing on my list of things I need to do more regularly...oy!

Girls just wanna have fun!

I officially had a great weekend! Now granted it might not take a lot to be considered a great weekend, but that's besides the point. Honest to blog, I'd even dare to say I had a great week! First off, work is going really well. I was super busy this week for the first time since I started and I accomplished a lot for only being there for 3 weeks. I think my boss and coworkers are pretty impressed so far and that makes me happy! Plus I got to talk to some really great people and heard some amazing stories. I would love to share some of them, but HIPAA regulations force me to keep my big mouth shut! Besides having a great week at work, I was able to play hooky on Wednesday and attend my first Brewers game of the season with one of my best friends Nichole (and the 30,000 other people who apparently decided hooky day was a good idea too!)! We had a great time and it's always great fun seeing her...wish it could be more often! I spent Friday night and part of Saturday cleaning and getting ready for my favorite part of the entire weekend...Jessa! For the past 15 years I have watched Jessa grow from an adorable little girl to an amazing young woman. She's kind, fun, compassionate, intelligent, hard working, and so much more. Our families always laugh about how alike we are and that, to me, is one of the best compliments I could ever receive. She's the closest thing I've ever had to a little sister and that's one title that I would love to come true. Anyway, Jessa was able to get away for the weekend with a couple of girlfriends (with one week of classes and one week of finals, getting away is not always easy but always necessary at that point!), so we hit up the Brewers game! I've been to one game my entire life and in one week I attended 2...crazy fun! So after a few pre-game shots to loosen us all up, we made the trek through the cemetary (an experience in and of itself, lol) over to Miller Park. We had 4 tickets but there ended up being 5 of us, so we grabbed an extra ticket and headed in to find our seats. Much to our shock and good fortune, there were exactly 5 seats left in our row! Score!!! We were pretty pumped that we got to sit together for the game...not that we actually watched most of the game as the Brew Crew got walloped, but we were able to enjoy some delicious drinks, the girls feasted on nachos and cheese fries, and we laughed a lot! Apparently we were on tv too (Jessa's grandma and a couple others saw us, woohoo!), so I hope for everyone's sake it wasn't when we were dancing. That would be downright embarassing. Once the game ended, we started to make the walk back to the creepy cemetary (only creepy because it had by then become dark and cemetaries are kinda freaky at night by nature) when we met a group of guys standing around a keg outside an RV in the parking lot. Long story short, many keg stands later and a number of cops who probably didn't realize that they were contributing to the delinquincy of minors, we headed back to my apartment and decided to grab some sushi. I must say I was quite proud of them as some of them had never experienced the deliciousness of sushi, but they all tried it, which is all I could ask for! After a delightful dinner downtown, we went back to my apartment to crash for the night. We threw in Slumdog Millionare as the girls settled in and before the previews even finished, all four were sound asleep, lol! Wait a second, aren't they the young ones with all the energy who are supposed to outlast this (late twenties) girl? Chalk one up for old JR, yyyyeeeesss! So anyway, I turned off the tv and headed off to bed. They were able to sleep in this morning before heading back to dorms and papers and finals galor and I headed off to a First Communion/birthday party. It was quite possibly the most fun I've had in quite some time and really gave Jessa and I a chance to bond again. I can't wait for the next adventure and I hope they know that they are always welcome!

So now it's Sunday night and I find myself pondering a few things:
- All about Mom: Mom will be in town this Tuesday and Wednesday and then I'm going home to celebrate Mother's Day with her. She really is one of my best friends and such an incredible person. I am beyond blessed to have her support, faith, guidance, and love! Now how do I even begin to show her what she means to me?
- J and S are coming to visit soon!!! I REALLY can't wait for them to get here later this month!
- I have to get scrapping! Baptism is coming up and I still have quite a few pages to go!
- E is hopefully coming out in September for a Sugarland concert! Cross your fingers that the tickets on sale this weekend are good because I definitely can't afford the $450 Platinum VIP tickets (that's per ticket btw!) that would put us in the spots we're accustomed to sitting. Here's hoping something decent pops up!
- Trying to decide what to do for Cinco de Mayo. Very tempting offer from my (other) girl J to see a cool artist. Not sure if I can swing it with the work schedule though. Decisions, decisions!
- Dating dilemma. Nuf said on that one.
- Just put my new red satin sheets on my bed and am in love with them! We'll see how they hold up when the weather gets warmer....but for now, I can't get enough!

Remember to show a little love to your mama this week. Not many people would put up with you the way she does! (just kidding!) Peace out girl scouts!!!

JR :)

Grown men and hand puppets do not mix.

Ok, so I've been dating this guy G since January. He seems like an ok guy, pretty interesting at times, holds open doors, likes music even more than I do. We have a nice time together on the weekends when we can see each other. But today, something changed. We spent the day digging for treasures at the local Goodwills, checking out the local places I've been hearing about for a year, and just kind of hanging out together. He decides we should go walk around a mall (cuz you know me, I'm an avid mall walker...or not) and so we do. A few stores and laps later, I'm bored and ready to leave, but decide I want to take a quick peek at Crate and Barrel. So, in we go, and I'm instantly enamored by all of the cool, fun gadgets they have. I'm strolling along, doing my own thing, when I hear him say "Hey, check this out!" I turn towards him, expecting him to be holding some great serving dish that will be perfect for the business I just finished telling him about. To my surprise, he was holding two oven mitts. To my horror, he started to put on a puppet show and talk really really loud. I am dying of embarrassment at this point, feeling all eyes in the store piercing my back like laser beams. As if that wasn't embarrassing enough, some snotty, preppy, middle class yuppy blurts out "Excuse me, I'd like to see the dish towels while you do your puppet show somewhere else." It's official, I can never show my face in this store again. I flashed the "you-better-put-those-things-away-right-this-second" look and quickly scurried to another section while Mr. Julia Childs was neatly hanging up his puppet friends. Needless to say, that was about an hour ago and I am now comfortably resting at home...very much alone. Probably the way it should be, for honest to blog, grown men and hand puppets just don't mix.

I'm hooked and I can't stop staring...

Oh baby, I wanna get with ya...you know how the song goes! But that's not what this post is about. I am hooked on reality TV...well all TV if we're being honest to blog. My interests vary from American Idol to Jericho to One Tree Hill to Grey's Anatomy to Top Chef to Biggest Loser to Heroes to pretty much anything TLC or Bravo. Sometimes these shows have been known to consume me...and that's where the problem lies! Tonight I found myself fretting over the AI outcome and predicting what Simon would have said had things not turned out as they did....wait, what, seriously!?! It hit me on the phone...I am all too consumed with television. What the heck is wrong with me??? Oh wait, I'm not alone in this battle? Good. Cuz I know somedays you feel like Meredith is your person. And occassionally you find yourself yelling unimaginable phrases at your innocent tvs or computer screens, right? I thought so. And you see qualities in men who can fly that you'd like to find in...ahem, a real man whose sole super hero power is being able to put the toilet seat down or remembering your birthday? So what is it about tv that is so consuming? For me, it's a sense of routine, familiarity, escape. I'll freely admit, I love coming home for certain shows, like an eager pet who is just waiting for you to get home to love it and play with it. And I find myself wishing that the men and women on my screen would walk into my life and things would be grand. And sometimes I just don't want to deal with the crap going on in my life, but I'm overly antsy to stick my nose into Claire's latest death defying drama. And each time Jake gets himself into trouble, I laugh because I remeber how he got out of the last pickle. I remember who he's kissed and who crushes on him and know who he belongs with. Because for 40 some odd minutes (stupid commercials) I can forget that I had a bad day or that I've got a relationship to figure out and I can focus on someone else's "life." But in the end, I realize the one thing that trumps the BFFs and the drama and the McDreamys...that the people in my life are truthfully far better than any character I could ever find on tv. And that, my friends, is worth coming home to every night.

Sick. And then some.

I don't get sick very often, but when I do, it seems to go straight for my lungs. For the second time in six months, I have an upper respiratory infection, which apparently is concerning to the doctors. So, I'm on a strong steroid with lots of fluids and rest. And I'm Vitamin D deficient, along with most of America apparently. Vitamin D is produced in our skin when we are exposed to the sun and helps our immune systems, bones, joints, and more. Research has shown it is also effective at reducing the risks for many different cancers. Sign me up! My doctor shared his personal experience with the vitamin to me yesterday...two years ago he read a study on the benefits of Vitamin D and decided to try it out for himself. With hundreds of people coughing, sneezing, and sniffling on him daily, you'd think he'd get sick all the time, right? Wrong! Notsomuch as a cold in over two years! Sold. Your doctor can check your blood levels to see where you're at (32 is the goal, his was at 54 a couple of weeks ago). So, starting yesterday, I'm taking 2000 i.u. of Vitamin D daily. Worth a shot I figure! In the meantime, I have to follow up with a new doctor in 1-2 weeks, who will probably refer me to someone else to get this respiratory thing figured out. The funniest part to me is when they ask if I'm a smoker and I reply "never," to which they always seem surprised, haha!

One more thing...happy birthday to this incredible lady and welcome home to this guy:

Spring is in the air!

Ahhh, I love this time of year! The warmth of the sun permeating the layers of ice and chill covering my bones. The robins flitting around. The bullfrogs and crickets harmonizing as the sun goes down. Me outrunning the cops.

Wait, what!?! Yes, call me Thelma or Louise, today was my day to skirt the law! Maybe there was something in the air. Ok, so let me explain. The morning started out like any other...I did not want to get up for work, but begrudgingly dragged my butt out of bed and got ready. I, for whatever reason (maybe just so I could blog about it, who knows!) decided to take an alternate route to work. Twenty minutes and two miles of progress later, I quickly scrapped my plans and turned around to take my normal route. At this point I knew I would be late or at the very least cutting it extremely close, so I might have had a bit of a lead foot. Seriously, I never see a cop on my new route, so I thought nothing of it. All of a sudden, out of the corner of my eye, I saw the dreaded blue and red flashing lights flicker to life at the top of an entrance ramp. Crap. I panicked, not gonna lie. I quickly merged into the middle lane, keeping a watchful eye on the SUV no doubt barrelling in my direction. I decided to abruptly take the upcoming exit...smooth, huh? Like that doesn't scream "HERE I AM!". Seriously. As I inched up the ramp, my hands were trembling and I prayed that the red and blue flecks would not become massive globes of doom in my rear view mirror. And just as I came to a halt at the top of the ramp, I glanced to my left only to have one of those slow motion movie moments....the brief flash of the sheriff in the far right lane, slowed down...but passing the exit! I half expected to see the sheriff shaking his fist in disgust at me as he crept by. Oh thank you Lord! I was relieved....no, beyond relieved. I felt...alive! Like I had just pulled off the biggest heist in history and gotten away with it. Like I could be the star of Oceans 14. Haha, can you tell I walk on the wild side? Ha! Ok really I was just glad I wouldn't have to shell out a Sure, some may say that he might not have even been after me, but that really doesn't make a good story, now does it? So someday I'll sit my kids down and tell them the story of the day their mom outran the law. Has a nice ring to it, don't you agree???

Moral of the story though: karma will get ya in the end. It's not all glory and deviance, I ended up being late for work and am now getting sick. AND the exit I took only had a westbound ramp, so I had to go back a mile in order to turn around and head the right way. There's a slight possibility I might have slumped down in my seat each time I passed the 6 freakin cops I saw on the rest of the drive, totally looking like an idiot in case there was an APB out on me. Sheesh. I fought the law...but the law won. Oh well.

Beautiful Disaster

I figure this is an appropriate title, in many ways, for my first official post. Hang in there, we'll have this down in no time! Welcome to the first installation of my lil' ol' blog. This will either be a beautiful thing or a complete disaster (it's all coming together now, isn't it!?!), but if you dare to join me on the adventure, it could be fun.

To my friends, welcome! I hope to be able to share little bits and pieces of my life with all of you, no matter where you are...and you are scattered throughout the country! To anyone else whom I have not had the pleasure of encountering yet, I hope you get something out of my blog...laughter, kindness, inspiration, amusement, boredom, perplexity, disdain, happiness...whatever it may be, I welcome you with open arms...and nimble fingers!

Ok, so basic recap of....well, me. I am a 27 year old, Midwest living, working, dating, music loving, kind, funny, intelligent, generous, creative, moody, traveling, roller coaster hating, stubborn, compassionate, Kelly Clarkson loving, outgoing...woman. Sometimes. Other times I feel like a lost little girl, trying to find a place in this world (thanks T. Swift). You'll probably come to know more about me than you ever care to, but take it or leave it, that's up to you. If you want to know something, all you have to do is ask and you shall receive.

So now brace yourself for the ride, if you'll join me. The good, the bad, and the ugly, you're gonna get it all. Have a great day, one and all!

Peace out girl scouts!
JR